When I think of February 5, 2012, I know that it was the day that I was at the lowest emotional spot that I have ever been. True story.

I was lower than in 1996 when I was in Egypt and was told that I would be playing in the 5th spot on the national team (squash) at the world championships (only 4 played, the 5th cheered).

I was lower than in 2008 when my “sure fire” investment (made in my e-trade account) in a public company doing an LBO an “on fire” investment when the deal was cancelled and I lost 40% of my liquid net worth in 3 minutes.

And, I was lower than in 2000 when a long time friend and mentor of mine got hit by a car while he walking to work and had brain injuries so severe, he was put in an induced coma, not expected to ever recover.

On that day in 2012, I was those 3 events wrapped into one low. It was 4 days after being fired and the shock had just worn off. I was in crisis, struggling with the way it felt to have had my identity as an adult involuntarily ripped from my soul. Everyone tells you your career shouldn’t be that important, but it was.

I imagine that some of you reading this are going through something similar in your life. A merger displacing your job; your office location being closed; your boss being an asshole and just not liking you; or any one of the hundreds of other reasons you end up being “involuntarily separated”. If that’s where you are, I’ve been there and it is the absolute worst.

That day in 2012, I wasn’t thinking about writing hottakes, or what would come next or how to build something positive out of the experience. I was mad and I wanted to prove something – anything – to anybody – because I thought people thought less of me. I thought my family thought less of me, and as I wrote in the book, this from the kids I didn’t know and the wife that was on her way back to Canada. Maybe you feel that way, too.

I have some good news for you… take a deep breath. Nobody cares it’s your birthday (also known as: when you aren’t in the room, no one is thinking about you).

IF they are thinking about you, they are doing so because they are worried and they care about you. So. Get a hug, grab a beer, milk it for a few free dinners with your friends and then get your ass back in the ring.

What it took me too long to learn (and resulted in a 250 page book) is that your career does not define you. YOU define you. Don’t let anyone define your narrative.

And the best news of all: unemployment in the U.S is 3.5% and in Canada its 5.7%. And yeah, sure, I liked what I did January 30, 2012. But I’ve liked everything I’ve done since. So pick up, move on and know that no one can take away the reason you were hired in the first place: you are good at what you do and gosh darn it, people like you. Even me.