In this week’s edition of “press releases that make me laugh” we have the two runners up – First – a company cut its annual budget by $2 mm (1.5%) while cutting its drilled wells from 50 to 32 (36%). Ummmm… walk me through that math?

Second – an OFS company that apparently doesn’t read my hottakes: “Our expectation of seeing the bottom of the Company’s rig count during the quarter turned out to be premature…” and now isn’t forecasting a bottom. I am!! 700 Hz rigs. That’s down another 20%.

But – the clear winner is a company that (non) operates in the Bakken – a basin you may have heard of and is fairly mature. They introduced a new term to the world: “ground game acquisitions!” Let’s be clear. Everything in the Williston worth owning is HBP so they are buying people’s non-op interests after they have thrown their hands in the air and proclaimed “why the F did I buy this in 2014… that was soooo stupid!” Buzz words are fun. Buzz phrases are sooo much better.

In fairness, there was a glorious nugget in that last press release – with gas capture a huge issue in ND, Q2 was curtailed 7% from potential. With higher GOR wells being drilled in the basin and limits on takeaway- the Williston could see a decline in activity in H2 which is music to my ears.