Dear Research Analysts,

You and I need to make a deal. I’m going to tell you some wonderful news later this week- and you are going to hold accountable companies that haven’t learned anything the last few years. Deal?

Wait! I’m not done with you yet. I understand the complex revenue model you have- you get paid to cover the companies and if you aren’t nice- they don’t let you on their conference calls and then “that” department on the other side of the Chinese Wall doesn’t get business. Check.

But here are some things you can do! First. Get rid of BOE questions. There is no value equality and the metric makes 0 sense. Ask about the primary product only. BOE is dumb.

Second. Do not let management teams tell you about IP rates or their first 90 day performance. Only EUR matters. Really.

Third. We both know who is going bankrupt or worse, heading to delisting with no hope for the equity holders. Do the right thing and write about it. There is no way in a market where 30% of companies are going away that those who ran a company into the ground will run another company. You shouldn’t worry about retaliation.

Finally, no more puff pieces about learnings and technology and buzz words. Data. Analysis. Recommendations. Thank you.